10 Frustrations of Living in Panama

 

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Hate is too strong a word and one I reserve only in association with things I truly despise, like movies with Ed Norton and mayonnaise. Heck, I’ll even sometimes say I hate Bon Jovi, but I don’t really mean it. So while I don’t “hate” anything about being an expat living in Panama, there sure are some things here that get my goat.

Here’s my Top 10:

 

  1. Cel Phones Everywhere – Hey Jorge, I realize you must be an important surgeon, but could you turn off your cel phone in the friggin’ movie theatre? Would it kill you to maybe turn it off during interviews and meetings too!?
     
  2. Constant Tardiness – Show up on time, dammit! Oh, and if you’re late…at least PRETEND like you’re sorry.
     
  3. Cel Phone Courtesy – If you answer your cel phone while in mid conversation with me again, I’ll stab you with my pencil.
     
  4. Lazy Spanish Pronunciation – Do you really think I can understand your Spanish if you pronounce half the consonants in the alphabet?
     
  5. Proximity Issues – I don’t mean to be rude, but when waiting in line, is it really necessary to get within a half an inch of me?
     
  6. Noise Pollution – Why on earth would you blast music in a pub at 5pm?
     
  7. Terrible Service – If you’re my waitress and expect a tip, don’t sneer at me please.
     
  8. Blabbermouth Syndrome – Please talk less and use your “inside voice” more.
     
  9. Freezing A/C Temp – Is there really any good reason for having the temperature in a restaurant at zero degrees Kelvin when it’s 95 and humid outside? What is this, an aircraft testing facility?
     
  10. Give a Hoot! Don’t Pollute! – The modern countries of Europe and the Western world sometimes forget that we too were litterbugs not so long ago. It’s easy to find trash thrown in public places and polluted rivers in Panama, or to spy an educated person throwing trash from their car window.
     
    Nowhere is perfect, and Panama certainly can make no claims at being Xanadu. However, I am reminded of the immortal words of Bruce Spingsteen, who said, “You ain’t a beauty but hey, you’re alright.” Although ugly on some days, Panama IS pretty darn good looking overall. It has plenty of positive things going for it besides physical beauty that far compensate for all these third world quirks. And I must confess that I secretly enjoy more than a few of these quirks. So for now Panama…you’re alright for this gringo.