What Kind Of Gringo Are You In Panama?
(panama-guide.com) Don Winner's comment: Well, Jerin Tate has done it again. Most famously, he recently wrote the Walt Disney Coming to Panama article under the pseudonym of the fictitious AP reporter "Rodrigo Campos" for April Fool's Day. Now, he applies his talents for simple observation to remind us of something we all already know - classifications of the various sub-types of Gringos you will most likely to find running around Panama. And now, without further adieu, ...
Backpacker Gringo: Easily identified by: Backpack, unwashed hair, smell. Where to find them: Casco Viejo, beaches, Bocas del Toro. We like them because: The backpacker gringo is all about respecting local customs, they try to speak a little bit of Spanish, and they generally just want to get along with everyone. We hate them because: They tend to smell pretty bad. Common Phrases: "Panama is cool, but not as cool as Asia." "Have you seen the waves at "Veneo?"
Tourist Gringo: Easily identified by: Khaki shorts, Hawaiian shirt, fanny pack, and sunburn. Where to find them: Marriot, Isla Grande, Bocas del Toro, and Coronado. We like them because: They are here, enjoying our country, spending their money, and experiencing what we live every day. We hate them because: Everybody assumes that we are tourists too and try to raise the prices on us. Common Phrases: "Wow, there is so much culture here!" "Only $20 for a cab ride? Awesome!"
Banking Gringo: Easily identified by: Briefcase, sunglasses, and first class plane ticket. Where to find them: Area Bancaria. We like them because: They are in and out. We hardly notice they are here. We hate them because: Very unfriendly. Common Phrases: "Will the US government know I own the corporation?" "I don´t want my name on anything."
Business Gringo: Easily identified by: Long sleeved shirt halfway rolled up, stonewashed jeans, gold chain. Where to find them: They are found in all corners of the country. We like them because: These are the entrepreneurs of Panama. They are here to make the easy dollar, and help the rest of us with our transition into living here. We hate them because: They are full of crap. There is no such thing as an easy dollar in Panama. Common Phrases: "I should make $150,000 this year." "Can I borrow a hundred dollars until next week?"
Scam Artist Gringo: Easily identified by: Smooth talking, great storytelling abilities, and passport with lots of stamps. Where to find them: Anywhere that has one or more foreigners. We like them because: They are so gosh darn nice. We hate them because: They are the scum of the earth. Common Phrases: "Wow, I feel the same way!" "….and I´ll take care of the rest."
Retired Gringo Subcategories: Of course we know that most of the gringos in Panama are the retired type, so I went ahead and gave them their own category.
Adventurous Old Gringo: Easily identified by: Unusual optimism, pictures of them on their website in the Rockies or Europe. Where to find them: Bocas del Toro, Chiriqui, El Valle, Panama City, Coronado. We like them because: They are living the dream in Panama. We hate them because: They are living the dream in Panama, and everyone is jealous. Plus, we are worried that they will eventually hurt themselves. Common Phrases: "Check out these photos from last weekend." "Next weekend we are going to the interior."
Internet Troll Gringo: Easily identified by: creative username, such as"oldgringoinpanama" Where to find them: Yahoo groups. We like them because: They let us in on certain things we should watch out for. We hate them because: They paint Panama as Baghdad West. Common Phrases: "Don´t be surprised if you get mugged, raped, kidnapped, scammed, taken for a fool, put on TV, get swine flu, get a bad deal, get screwed, get taken for, etc. etc. etc…." "Told ya so!"
Old Geezer Gringo: Easily identified by: Inability to speak Spanish. Complaints. Where to find them: Boquete, Chitre, Chorerra, and the city. We like them because: They are old, and have every right to complain. We hate them because: They are old, and do nothing but complain. Common Phrases: "HEY!" I want ________!" "This stupid girl doesn´t speak English."
Old Pervert Gringo: Easily identified by: Two hookers at their side. Where to find them: Any casino in Panama… We like them because: They only bother the ladies. We hate them because: They are perverts. Common Phrases: "My money has nothing to do with it," "I can find you a nice girl."
Yes, I know I haven´t covered all of the types. If you think I have overlooked you please feel free to add yourself to the mix. I look forward to your replies.
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Original Source: Panama-guide.com
Date Retrieved: May 29, 2009.
